Is it really worth it?

Is love worth being hurt? Is being happy with the pain when it ends? Is being high worth the fall? What goes up must come down, we all know this yet we all still go climbing to find something which I am not sure even exists. I am still searching for that self content and satisfaction, apparently once you reach this all your problems are solved. I am living off of the hope that this is true, but I really do not believe it.

Want to know the worst thing about doing psychology at uni? I know why I am down in the dumps and I know exactly what a therapist will ask and what I will answer and how they will respond. If I know all of this and cannot help myself, how the hell is a stranger going to be able to help me. They will take one look at me and go nope. I don’t want to be like this anymore, I want to be happy again but how can I be when everything feels so wrong.

I have a gorgeous girlfriend who does everything for me, a great job and I am at uni, yet that still isn’t enough. I still haven’t found myself. Nothing will be right until I can finally be who I am meant to be. That may just be years away.


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