Liar, Liar, pants on fire

The two things I hate most in the world are liars and cheats. Which in my opinion is perfectly understandable. So when someone lies to protect you, they are not protecting you they are just prolonging the pain. If someone is straight up with me, what they have to say may hurt but I am grateful they told me. However, if they don’t tell me and I the find out it hurts more because they have done something I am not a fan of and then lied about it. That means rather than one thing happening that upsets me there are two things. Hope that makes sense and you are keeping up.

The next thing. Cheats. Okay so it could just be a misunderstanding but it is one hell of a thing to get wrong. I get called paranoid but then stuff like going to parties and your partner kissing someone that isn’t you happens, I think I have a right to worry. She has never given me a reason to not trust her but now she has and now I am just ‘paranoid.’ Oh that’s something else I hate ‘I just.’ It is also followed by something bad but the word just is meant to make it seem less bad. I am angry blogging can you tell.

So that’s my moan on liars and cheats but here’s the big one. I want to feel like a person. I currently feel like an object. I AM TRANSGENDER. This means he and him pronouns if you please. Now, I can not remember the last time my girlfriend used those pronouns. Even her friends come up to me and ask me how I put up with it. I’m getting tired of it. She is meant to be the person who loves and supports me and at the moment I feel like a tiny little insignificant spec in her life. No one should feel like this, and I tell people and everyone says dump her, leave her, she doesn’t deserve you. But I am a doormat and I keep thinking no things will change, things will get better. Maybe they will, maybe. I keep holding on to maybes and one more chances.

Anyway she will read this soon message me some abuse about how I got all my facts wrong and she is unable to defend herself and I will tell you where I am at next time.

Peace out.

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